The Secret Life of Jay Walker: Book One: A Grief Observed
by J.R.R. Not-Tolkien
Summary: When Jay gets a phone call from a childhood friend, he has no idea his life is going to be changed forever. Inspired by Adventure in Odyssey's "Life Expectancy". Contains Christian themes, character death, and difficult topics. Nothing inappropriate, just somewhat difficult to discuss.
1. An Unexpected Phone Call

**Hey, guys. This story has been filling my mind for a long time, and now I finally decided to write it. I'm feeling really depressed (not clinical or anything like that). A few weeks ago, a couple at my church had to deliver twins prematurely into the mom's pregnancy, and neither twin survived. That was a hard blow, and I overheard my mom saying that the mother of the twins was sitting at the back of the church during this Sunday's service, just crying.**

 **Then, even though I knew this would happen, I got news that my grandpa, who's been unemployed for almost three years and had finally gotten a temporary job we hoped would turn permanent, wouldn't have a job when the New Year starts.**

 **So, I'd really appreciate it if you'd pray for our church, specifically for that couple (Brianna and Ryan), and for my family.**

 **This story is based on an "Adventures In Odyssey" episode that had me crying the first time I listened to it. Read on and keep waiting for the chapters to come if you want to find out why.**

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Chapter 1: An Unexpected Phone Call

Jay yawned, stretching himself out like a cat as he relaxed his sore muscles. "Man, does that feel good," he said aloud. His bedsprings let out quiet, contented squeaks as he rolled over, releasing another yawn. "All I need is to replace this bed for a bounce-house bed and I'll be in business."

But just before he could curl up and let his heavy eyelids fall shut, his phone made a series of loud honks that jerked the Ninja of Lightning out of his torpor. "Who the heck would be calling me now?" he muttered, sliding his personalized smart-phone out of his pants pocket. "Probably nobody I'd know, otherwise they wouldn't try to call me right after training."

He answered his phone, yawning again. "Jay Walker speaking."

" _Hi, Jay._ " Jay's eyes widened. He recognized the caller's voice, someone he hadn't heard in years. "Alex?!" Alex Azam was his best friend from his old town, Wintergate. They'd been friends as far back as Jay could remember. But after he moved to Ninjago City and became a ninja, he hadn't heard from Alex in years.

" _The one and only._ " Jay grinned. "How are you doing, old friend? It's been forever!"

" _I'm doing all right, I guess,_ " Alex replied. " _But unfortunately, Jay, I didn't call to catch up. I've got something I need to tell you._ "

Jay was a little disappointed, but he shrugged it off. "Okay, shoot."

" _Well, I got a job as a mail carrier in your parents' neighborhood,_ " Alex began.

"Oh, yeah, I remember my dad saying something about that the last time I called," Jay recalled. "Have you seen my parents lately?"

" _That's what I need to tell you,_ " Alex said. He sounded nervous. " _I was delivering mail on your parents' street, and I just saw an ambulance leave._ "

"From my parents' street?" Jay frowned.

" _Well, actually, it was from your parents' house,_ " Alex confessed.

Jay sighed. "Did Mr. Foster have another asthma attack at their Bible study group?" he asked. He'd visited his parents enough to attend several of their Bible studies, and had ended up witnessing one of Mr. Foster's asthma attacks.

" _Um, no,_ " Alex said nervously.

"Then where are my parents?" Jay was feeling tense himself.

" _Well, your mom is okay-_ " Jay could hear Alex clap a hand over his mouth. He immediately knew something was wrong.

"Where's my dad?" Jay demanded.

" _He was . . . um . . . on the stretcher,_ " Alex said quietly.

"WHAT?!" Jay was shocked and terrified at the same time

" _I was trying not to freak you out!_ " Alex said hastily.

"Look, just stop trying not to freak me out and tell me what happened!" Jay had a hand on the shirt of his collar and was clenching it frantically.

" _Your dad was on the stretcher that they loaded into the ambulance that just took off for Ninjago City General Hospital,_ " Alex said quickly.

With a yelp of dismay, Jay shoved his phone into his jacket pocket and dashed out of his room. He sprinted right past his five teammates, Sensei Wu, and Misako, and out the door for his motorbike, grabbing his helmet and biking gloves as he ran. "Jay?" Lloyd called, but his friend didn't hear him; he had already revved up the engine of his bike and sped off.

"Where's he going off to in such a hurry?" Cole wondered, frowning.

Zane checked his monitor. "His motorbike has a tracking device on it," he explained when the others gave him a confused look. "He is on his way to Ninjago City General Hospital," Zane said, confused.

"Why would he be going there?" Lloyd mused.

"I'll go after him," Nya said decisively.

Kai sighed. "There's no talking you into taking one of us with you, is there?"

"'Fraid not, big brother," Nya said. "It's probably best if I go after him alone." With that, she turned and ran out the door for her own motorbike.

Once the others were sure Nya was gone, they glanced at each other. "She doesn't really expect us to stay behind, does she?" Cole said.

Zane rolled his eyes. "To borrow the slang term, _duh._ "

"Then what are we waiting for?" Lloyd exclaimed. "Jay might be in trouble, and we're just standing around like a bunch of dumb clucks! Let's go!"

"Dumb clucks? Really?" Kai muttered, facepalming before running after his teammates.

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 **#God's Not Dead!**


	2. An Even More Unexpected Revelation

**Okay, so I'm super happy I got this updated, and I'm super sad I got this updated. Not sure why.**

 **Happy Beethoven's Birthday! He's 245 years old today! Woo hoo! Sorry, that's my Schroeder coming out in me XD**

 **This chapter hit me right in the feel guts. I almost broke down trying to write it. Please be prepared.**

 **Oh, just wanted to let you know, I have several different Ninjago multiverses, and this is going to come in handy to remember in this particular story. In this multiverse, Ed is the pastor at Ninjago City Baptist, the church the Ninja and several of the Elemental Masters attend. Wu and Misako have gotten married in this past time too. (I know, I know, sue me, I'm a big Garsako fan, but this pairing worked for a later chapter in this story.) Just had to get that out of the way.**

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2\. An Even More Unexpected Revelation

Jay jumped off his motorbike, completely forgetting to take his helmet off as he dashed into the hospital. Just before he slammed into the hospital doors, he skidded to a stop, remembering where he was. _Walk, don't run,_ he told himself. _You don't want to get someone else in an accident._ Trying to remain calm, he walked into the hospital.

There was no line at the receptionist's desk, which Jay took as either a miracle or a hopeful slowdown of dramatic accidents. The receptionist gave him a wary look. He probably did look rather suspicious, with his helmet hanging by the strap around his neck, and the black leather biking jacket he was wearing. "Can I help you?" she asked coldly.

Even though he was trying to keep a cool head, Jay couldn't hide a note of urgency and panic in his voice. "Did an ambulance just arrive?" he asked.

"A few minutes ago," the receptionist replied, frowning.

"Was my dad in it?" Jay blurted out. He felt like slapping himself as soon as the words escaped his mouth. That was _not_ what he was going to say.

The receptionist raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, but who are you?"

"I'm the son of the guy who just came in," Jay squeaked, his brain's jumbled thoughts coming out in his even more confusing speech. "If it was him, my dad, I mean." His cheeks were burning bright red.

The receptionist looked him up and down, the nervous and embarrassed expression, the way he was fidgeting with his jacket collar, and her guarded look softened. He was obviously very worried. "What's the name?" she asked, a little more kindly.

"Mine or the man's?" Jay asked.

"The patient's," she said.

"Edward Walker," Jay answered automatically. "I'm his son, Jay."

The receptionist got up from her desk after checking the files on her computer. "Well, give me a minute, and I'll go check inside," she said.

"Can I come with you?" Jay pleaded. He was becoming more and more desperate to see his dad by the minute. Who knows how he was doing now? Even though the last time he had seen his dad, he was as jovial and healthy as he always was.

"I'm sorry, but you can't," the receptionist said gently. "But I'll be right back." She walked through the doors into the hospital itself, leaving Jay to find a seat in the lobby.

Just as he sat down, he heard a familiar voice call, "Jay!" He turned to see Nya, with her biking helmet under one arm, and a concerned look on her face walking toward him.

"Hi, Nya," he greeted her, giving her a hug as she sat down next to him. Glancing behind her, he grinned. "You didn't tell me you brought the whole pack!"

"Huh?" Nya turned in the direction of the hospital doors, and saw Cole, Zane, Kai, and Lloyd entering the lobby. "I told you not to follow me!" she exclaimed, frustrated.

"Did you really think we'd do that when Jay freaked us out by dashing to the hospital?" Kai demanded, giving Jay a look.

Jay grinned sheepishly back at his worried teammates. "Sorry about that," he apologized, beckoning his friends to sit down. "I got a phone call from an old friend of mine with bad news."

"What sort of bad news?" Zane asked, frowning.

Jay's grin faded as he said, "My friend Alex, who's a mail carrier in my parents' neighborhood, saw an ambulance leave my parents' house with my dad in it about seven minutes ago. That's why I had to go so fast."

None of the other Ninja were expecting that. "Was your dad sick?" Lloyd asked, confused. "Because the last time we saw him, he was perfectly fine!"

"That's why I'm going to find out," Jay said, resting his chin in his hands and frowning. "I have no idea what's wrong with Dad."

Nya put a hand on his back. "He's probably okay," she said, trying to comfort her anxious boyfriend. She wasn't all too sure herself, but, like Jay would say, she was using the "power of positive thinking."

Cole jerked his head toward the hospital entrance. "There's Dr. Jones coming this way." Dr. Emmaline Jones had previously tended to some of the Ninja's more serious injuries, like when Jay broke his foot or when Kai got a concussion. Dr. Jones had a serious, almost sad look on her normally pleasant face when she saw the six eagerly waiting young men and young woman.

"Hello, Jay," she addressed the blue ninja, giving the others a greeting nod.

"How's my dad?" Jay asked hopefully.

"Um . . ." Dr. Jones hesitated. "Maybe we should go-in there, the consultation room." She gestured for Jay to follow her inside.

"We'll wait out here," Nya said.

"No, no, you can come too," Jay said, a little more cheerfully.

"Oka-a-ay," his girlfriend said nervously. The other four got up and followed Jay, Nya, and Dr. Jones into the hospital.

"How is he?" Jay repeated his question to Dr. Jones as they entered the small consultation room, located just a bit away from the hospital hallway entrance.

"You weren't with him?" Dr. Jones asked, frowning as she closed the door behind them.

"No, I got a phone call from my friend Alex," Jay said. "He delivers mail in their neighborhood-oh, never mind. Just tell me how my dad is."

Dr. Jones hesitated again. "You should sit down first," she told Jay. Nya and the others immediately got the impression something was wrong.

"I don't want to sit down," Jay said, a little stubbornly and a little impatiently. "Just tell me how he is."

"He-" Dr. Jones sighed. "He had a heart attack, Jay," she finished quietly.

Nya gasped. "Oh no," Zane murmured, dismayed. The others just stared at the doctor in shock.

"Maybe I _should_ sit down," Jay said weakly, sitting heavily on a chair across from Dr. Jones. That was a blow he didn't expect. A heart attack? _His_ dad? The lively, hands-on, inventor/pastor/loving father guy who ran a junkyard during the week and preached so enthusiastically on Sundays? That could not be right.

"A heart attack," he repeated, incredulously. "But . . . how? He's healthy! He's never had heart problems!" He shook his head fervently.

"I'm afraid not, Jay," Dr. Jones said. "He's been on medication for as long as I've known him."

"And he never told me?" Jay was a little irritated with his dad now. "Well, I'll have a few things to say to him about that. Where is he?" His irritation vanished just as quickly as it had come when he heard Dr. Jones' next words.

"Jay . . ." she began, but she began to choke up. After taking her glasses off and wiping her eyes on her sleeve, she said, "I'm so, so sorry, but . . . your dad passed away."

Jay's breath caught in his throat. His eyes went wide. It took him several minutes to register what the doctor said. Finally, he squeaked, "He's . . . what? No! That's a mistake!" he protested, trying to catch his breath while the other Ninja stared, in horrified disbelief, at Dr. Jones, their eyes glancing back in forth between the tear-filled eyes of the doctor, and the panic-filled ones of their teammate.

"It's likely he died instantly," Dr. Jones said, voice racked with sobs. "They tried to resuscitate him in the ambulance, but they were . . . oh, I'm so sorry, Jay."

Jay's blue eyes welled up with tears. "He's dead?" His voice sounded like a pleading whimper, begging for someone to come in and say that, miraculously, his dad was okay. But that someone never came. "That can't be . . ." he choked. ". . . he was . . . he was fine when I saw him . . ." He buried his head in his hands. "No . . . no . . ."

Nya wrapped her arms around Jay, who was falling into a fit of sobs, his chest heaving and his eyes spilling over with tears, running down his cheeks. She was crying too, but silently. Ed had treated her and loved her like his own daughter, even if she and Jay weren't married yet. "Oh, Jay," she murmured, hugging him tighter as his sobs became louder and more heart-wrenching than a lonely dog howling at the moon. Only this dog was mourning for his master.

"Da-a-a-ad!" Jay howled. His world was completely shattered. His dad, his loving, caring father, was gone. A piece of Jay's heart had been torn out. And this was a part he could never replace.

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 **I'm so, so sorry if I tortured you with this. It wrenched my heart out writing this.**

 **#God's Not Dead**


	3. Irreplaceable

**Hey guys. I'm back with another chapter. It took me a little bit of time to work on, but that was only because I was getting distracted with other stuff. You know, I wonder sometimes if I'm ADHD . . . no offense meant to anyone who is ADHD.**

 **Anyway, I got to see _The Force Awakens_ in 3-D on opening night! It was so awesome! I just wish I could work on a Ninjago crossover fanfic for it, but people would murder me for blurting out spoilers. And the best part of it was it was a half-birthday present! Yep, I'm quirky in the fact that I celebrate half-birthdays. Mine happened to fall on the day _The Force Awakens_ was officially released in theaters, so YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS! Best half-birthday present EVAH!**

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter. Just to let you know, Jay's gonna be doing a lot of crying throughout this story, so expect to see words like sob, cry, tears, and other words like that.**

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3\. Irreplaceable

Back at the dojo, Alex, worried for his friend, had come to pay Jay a visit. He had gotten the address of the dojo from Jay's parents, and Misako welcomed him inside when he told her he was a friend of Jay's. Sensei Wu had finished talking to Pastor Miles, the new head pastor at Ninjago City Baptist, who had told him and Misako about Ed's sudden death. "I'll let him know," Alex heard the old man say. "Thank you, pastor. Goodbye." He hung up.

"Wu, this is Alex Azam," Misako introduced him to the sensei.

"I'm one of Jay's friends from his hometown," Alex explained. He hung his head. "I was also the bearer of bad news. I was the one who told him about his dad."

Wu gently put a hand on the young man's shoulder. "I do not hold you responsible for causing Jay pain," he said kindly. "In fact, it's probably best he got the news from a friend. Even one he hasn't seen in a while."

Alex looked slightly relieved, but he was still feeling depressed. "I feel so bad for Jay," he said. "He and his dad were always so close. It must hurt him a lot."

Wu nodded sadly. "The loss of a loved one is always difficult to bear," he said. "I'm unfortunately not a stranger to that feeling." Even now, he still felt pain over the death of his brother, Sensei Garmadon, who had been banished to the Cursed Realm and had died in the destruction of the Preeminent so many months ago.

Misako put a hand gently on her husband's shoulder. "The loss of Garmadon has affected us all, you, I, and Lloyd especially," she said quietly. "But now, we should help Jay through the sudden passing of his father. This will be a trying time for him."

Wu nodded, then stood up. "I'm going to the hospital now, Misako," he said. "I should see Jay myself. Keep Alex company." He turned and walked out the door.

Once Wu had gone, Misako turned to Alex. "How did it happen? Do you know?"

Alex nodded. "I talked with Mr. Foster, one of their neighbors who was there when Mr. Walker . . . passed away. They were about to study their weekly Bible study when Mr. Walker slumped over on the couch. Mrs. Walker immediately called 911, but she was pretty certain he had already died by the time the ambulance got there."

* * *

At the hospital, Jay had finally stopped crying. His eyes had become red and swollen, the tracks of tears marking his cheeks. "Would you like to see him now?" Dr. Jones asked quietly.

Jay nodded, not trusting himself to not burst into tears again if he tried to talk. The other Ninja didn't get up to follow him as he followed Dr. Jones out the consultation room door. They knew he needed time alone, time to see his dad.

* * *

As Jay followed Dr. Jones down the hospital hallway, his mind seemed completely confused. Part of him was heart-broken at how sudden his dad had died. One minute he was there, the next, he was gone, leaving Jay without a paternal figure he could turn to, someone he could ask for help with things only boys could understand.

But another part of him was . . . angry? That was the only word he could use to describe this curious feeling in another part of his soul. He felt anger toward his father that he hadn't told him about his heart condition. Anger toward God that he didn't give Jay a warning, or a sign that his dad was about to leave him forever. _Why did You take him?_ he thought furiously, unconsciously glaring up at the ceiling as he walked. _Why did You take him, God?_

But as he walked, his anger evaporated, turning back into grief. _What am I thinking? It's not God's fault! It's no one's fault. I didn't know Dad was gonna die. . ._ He buried his head in his hands again, trying to cover up the fresh tears filling up his eyes.

"Jay." Dr. Jones gently tapped his shoulder. He quickly gave his eyes a swipe, then entered the small hospital room where the doctor was gesturing toward. Once he was inside, the doctor closed the door behind him.

Kneeling next to the hospital bed and its occupant was Jay's mom. "Mom?" he squeaked. He ran forward into his mother's open arms, hugging her tightly as he let his tears fall freely down his cheeks.

Edna stroked her son's hair as he buried his head in her shoulder. "Oh, Jay," she murmured, her own eyes streaming with tears. "I'm so, so sorry, dearest."

Jay just continued to cry, all his pent-up feelings on the way to the hospital room released in a flow of sobbing.

Finally, his sobs resided back into hiccups, and then the hiccups disappeared too. "Is Dad . . . ?"

Edna nodded, gesturing to the bed. Jay released his arms from around his mother and approached the bed, not knowing what to expect.

* * *

Jay knelt down next to the bed where his father lay, eyes closed and hands folded over his chest, as if he had been praying. Ed looked so peaceful and rested.

"Oh, Dad," Jay whispered, gently touching his father's lined cheek, a weak smile forming on his lips. "Look at you. You could be asleep. Though, I don't remember the last time I saw you asleep. You were always so energetic, so active. So . . . alive." He sniffled. "But not anymore." Even though he felt like he couldn't cry anymore, he had the now familiar feeling of his eyes tearing up surging through his pupils. "Why didn't you tell me about your heart?" he whispered. "Did you really think I'd worry? Or did you think I'd badger you about it, because I would have, and maybe you'd still be alive."

He gave his eyes another swipe with his damp jacket sleeve. "It's not fair," he squeaked, finding it very difficult to speak through his poorly-stifled sobs, "we didn't get to say goodbye." He laid a hand on his dad's folded hands. "Somehow you should have warned me-" now he was trying to vent out his anger through his grief "-somehow I should have known that last Sunday would be the last time I heard you preach in church, and have dinner with you and Mom, and talk."

The tears in his eyes receded as he tried to remember. "What did we talk about?" He frowned. "We didn't have an argument, did we?" Then his frown curved into another weak smile as he said, "No-no, we were laughing about the time I accidentally rewired the Christmas lights to blink 'Jay did this' in Morse code. That was just wrong." He released a feeble laugh. "At least we were laughing . . ."

As he gazed down on his sleeping dad's face, his eyes began to fill up again, his small smile finally collapsing. "Did I tell you that I love you?" he whispered, voice choked with sobs. "I don't remember." He scrubbed at his eyes again. "I got a text from Kai, and while I was dealing with that, you were at the door. Mom blew me a kiss, and you waved goodbye. I can see it now." He didn't stop himself this time as his tears streamed silently down his cheeks. "How was I supposed to know that it was really a forever goodbye? There should have been a sign, an instinct, a hint that you were waving for the last time. . ."

Jay's face was contorted with grief and pain. "I'm so gonna miss you, Dad," he whispered, blinking as his tears clouded his vision. "Life without you . . . it's gonna be really hard. If I cry a lot, and if I'm miserable, you know it's not because I'm afraid, I know where you are. It's only because . . . I have to go on without you. And I'm going to be aware of your absence with every good thing and bad thing that happens to me." He sniffled. "Who'll be you for me now?"

A quiet knock came on the door, and Dr. Jones stepped into the room. "Jay?" she called softly. "Mr. Renken from the coroner's office is here to see you."

"Why?" Jay asked, giving his eyes another quick swipe.

"Well, to take care of the death certificate and such," Dr. Jones replied.

Jay heaved a shaky sigh. "Oh. Okay."

"I'll be outside if you need anything," the doctor said gently, then she turned and went back out into the hall, closing the door behind her.

Jay turned back to the bed. "I have to go, Dad," he said, unable to stifle a sob. "I'll see you later." He bent over his dad's body and gave him a hug, his lips gently brushing Ed's cold cheek. Still exhaling sob-shaken breaths, he got up from his kneeling position and left the hospital room, giving his mom one final hug and kiss before closing the door behind him.

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 **Well, I guess that's done for now. Stay tuned for Chapter Four! Sorry if it was short.**

 **#God's Not Dead!**

 **#Lightning Forever!**


	4. Hard Blow

**Hey guys! Sorry I took so long with this chapter, but I'm glad I got it up! I was kinda waiting for the whole review problem to clear up, and now that it has, I decided to post the next chapter of "A Grief Observed"! Whoopdeedoo!**

 **Hope you guys had a fun New Year's Eve thingymajiggy! I stayed up till midnight . . . New York time, that is. And no, I'm not from New York, so I didn't stay up until midnight.**

 **School started back up for me. I had . . . lemme think . . . five weeks off. Good grief. Oh, in case you're wondering why, I'm homeschooled, so that can give you a slight advantage in the break department.**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I've almost got the next one done.**

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4\. Hard Blow

Sensei Wu jumped off his Elemental dragon and hurried into the hospital, being careful not to run into anyone as he scanned the lobby for his pupils. Cole, Zane, Kai, Lloyd, and Nya were huddled in a corner of the waiting room, the signs of grief clearly visible on their faces. Cole's face was streaked with tear tracks, Zane's metal cheeks were slightly white and his eyes seemed bluer than usual, Kai's amber-brown eyes were red and puffy, Lloyd's jacket sleeve looked slightly damp, and Nya kept blowing her nose and swiping at her face with one arm. "Hello, my students," Wu addressed them quietly, taking a seat next to Cole.

"Hey, Sensei," the boys chorused morosely. Nya just nodded.

Wu noticed that one of his students was missing. "Where is Jay?" he asked.

"With his dad," Nya managed to squeak, her voice heavy with uncried sobs. Kai put an arm comfortingly around his little sister.

Sensei knew that they'd all been affected by Ed's death, Nya especially out of the other five. "What are we supposed to do?" Lloyd asked, rolling up his damp sleeve and blowing his nose with a loud honk. "We've all experienced this kind of loss before, but somehow this feels . . . different."

Zane nodded in agreement. "I think it is because we all came to know Mr. Walker for a longer period of time, and we felt like a part of Jay's family through him," he said. "The loss of a parent is hard to bear, but sometimes the loss of a parent-like figure is just as hard."

"Wise words, Zane," Sensei Wu said quietly. "And there is definitely truth in what you speak."

"But what can we do to help him now?" Cole asked, blinking unnaturally fast to fight back more tears.

"Jay will need help in getting everything organized," Sensei said. "Fortunately, I know what Ed wants done, as does his mother." He glanced upwards, toward the doors into the hospital complex. "Here comes Jay."

Jay walked up to the six in their corner of the lobby. His sea-blue eyes were red and puffy, and his ginger auburn hair was more disheveled than usual. His face was blotched and stained with tear tracks, and he sniffled visibly. "Hey, guys," he greeted his friends. "Hi, Sensei."

"Hey," the others said.

After returning Jay's salutation, Sensei asked quietly, "How are you holding up?"

Jay wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "I'm not gonna cry," he said, trying to sound like he meant it.

"Okay," Wu replied mildly. He wasn't sure how long Jay could make good on that statement.

"Never mind," Jay squeaked, burying his head in his hands as he collapsed into the empty seat between Zane and his sensei, fresh tears pouring down his cheeks. "Oh, he's gone, Sensei!" he cried, voice cracking and sounding like a high-pitched whimper. "What am I supposed to do now?"

Sensei gently placed a hand on his student's heaving shoulder. "Oh, Jay, I'm so sorry," he murmured gently, unsure how else to soothe his distraught pupil.

"I'm not prepared for this at all," Jay moaned, his sobs and his voice muffled by his hands.

He felt Zane's metal hand on his back. "We'll help you with everything, Jay," the Nindroid said quietly, gently rubbing his friend's back in a calming gesture.

"Your father gave me a copy of his will and last wishes," Sensei Wu told his student.

Jay jerked his head out of his hands. "What?" he said, in slight disbelief. "Why did he give those to you and not me?"

"I think he figured I could help you, along with your mother," Sensei explained gently.

Jay gave his eyes another swipe. "And next you're gonna tell me you knew he had heart condition, right?" he croaked.

"We-e-ell . . . " Wu fidgeted nervously with his kimono collar.

Jay squeaked in pained shock. "What?! Did he publish that in the church newsletter and I missed that email?!"

"He didn't want you to worry," Sensei said, quickly enough to assure his pupil that was his father's intentions, but kindly enough that his message was taken the right way. "He gave me his papers because he was afraid you might not be able to cope very well with the arrangements."

"I'm not nine anymore," Jay muttered.

"He was only thinking of you," Sensei assured him.

"Yeah, I know," Jay mumbled, sitting upright and taking off his jacket. Both sleeves were damp with tears, and it didn't help that Jay was wearing a short-sleeved T-shirt on a cold, blustery, late November afternoon. As he rubbed his arms to keep warm, Nya noticed how pale they looked compared to his face. "But in trying to protect me," he said, blowing his nose into a tissue offered by Zane, "I feel like he's made me even more vulnerable."

"Well, what can we do for you now, Jay?" Lloyd asked gently.

"I don't know, Lloyd," Jay sniffled, blowing his nose again with a loud honk. He exhaled deeply. "Dr. Jones said I had to fill out some paperwork, and decide which funeral home . . ."

"Ah, Alderwood Funeral Home," Sensei Wu said. "It's in your father's final instructions."

Jay sighed again. "Maybe we should look at that stuff," he said weakly.

"Everything's back at the dojo," Wu said.

Jay scrubbed at his eyes again. "To be honest, Sensei, I think I should do that stuff with Mom," he said quietly. "She's gonna need family nearby."

"Well, she's always welcome to come live with us for as long as she likes," Kai said, sneezing as a gust of cold air come in through the door.

"I'll let her know," Jay said, with a feeble effort at his old grin. But his weak smile faded only seconds later. "I just feel so . . . empty," he murmured miserably. "Everything seems empty."

The old sensei nodded empathetically. "You're going to feel a lot of different emotions, Jay," he told him quietly. "They come in waves, sometimes when you least expect them. And they don't always make sense."

Jay nodded. "I feel like that most of the time," he said. His friends chuckled weakly at his attempt at a joke. Then the Blue Ninja buried his face in his hands. "I just wasn't ready for it," he said, new tears trickling down his cheeks.

Zane put an arm around his friend's shoulder. He was unsure how to comfort Jay, as he hadn't experienced the sudden death of a family member before. When his father died, Zane had been expecting it, as he was old and wasn't supposed to be alive in the first place. The loss hurt painfully, but not in an unexpected, shock kind of pain.

"He's gone," Jay murmured, eyes drooping as his tired body began to drift away, "and I wasn't ready for it . . ."

Zane gave his teammate a brotherly squeeze as Jay fell asleep, head resting against Zane's shoulder.

* * *

 **Okay, to some of you who may ship yaoi and yuri, that last part might look to you like a Technoship moment. But I want to make this clear: I do not ship yaoi or yuri, and I never will. I happen to think of Jay and Zane as BBFLs (Best Friends Forever for Life), not . . . anything beyond that.**

 **Hope you liked it! NinjagoMasterOfTheForce OUT!**

 **#God's Not Dead!**

 **#Lightning Forever!**


	5. Friend

**This chapter took me a lot longer to write than I expected. Whew! But I'm getting closer to finishing the story. I've got the sequel coming close after, and as soon as "A Grief Observed" is complete, I'll hopefully have the first chapter of "Surprised By Jay", the second book, up shortly after. I'm pretty certain I just repeated myself. *sigh* I have that problem in both writing and speech.**

 **And I want to give a special shout-out to everyone who has liked, is following, and has commented on this story. Your support really means a lot to me. Special thanks to SwimmerNinja13, Ninja Pony (guest), JayaForever421 (guest), HynotisisAnime Reader, The Mayor of Ninjago City, an unnamed Guest, Craftastic12, and Kairocksrainbow (guest)! I love you guys!**

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

5\. Friend

Zane gently adjusted the sleeping Jay so his head leaned against the wall and Zane was more free to move. "We should let him sleep," he said quietly. "This shock exhausted him."

As he spoke, Jay's mom came up to the seven. "Hello, Edna," Sensei Wu greeted her. "Jay's sleeping."

Edna smiled faintly. "I'm not surprised," she said. "Even when he was little, Jay always conked out when he was feeling shocked or upset. I can take him to the dojo before I head back home, since he's not going to wake up for a few hours."

"I was meaning to tell you about that," Sensei Wu said. "You're welcome to stay with us at the dojo for as long as you want. We were going to go over the details of the . . . the funeral when we got back."

Edna nodded. "I'd appreciate that. But someone's gonna have to take Jay's motorbike home, since I can't haul it back and Jay's in no state to drive."

"I'll take it back," Zane volunteered. "My motorbike has an automatic pilot that I can program to take it back to the dojo. And I won't need Jay's keys, since my master key will work fine." He produced a small white key out from his jacket pocket.

"Then that's settled." Sensei Wu stood up. "I think we should be heading back to the dojo. Alex and Misako will be wondering where we are."

"We'll be there in a bit," Edna said, sliding in next to her sleeping son. "Don't wait up."

The five Ninja and their sensei walked out of the hospital lobby and out into the parking lot. As she took one last glance backwards, seeing Jay leaning against his mom in his sleep, Nya thought aloud, "I wonder how Jay's going to be after this is over."

Zane heard her quiet contemplation. He was tempted to reply with his own thoughts on the subject, but he didn't say anything. _Things like the loss of a loved one cannot just "be over",_ he thought as he strapped his helmet on over his baseball cap and stuck his key into the ignition of Jay's bike. _I'd think Nya, of all people, would know that, because she lost not just one parent, but both._

He didn't have much time to think as he sped through the Ninjago City streets, back toward the dojo. Jay's bike was slightly harder to maneuver than his own, but like with most things, he mastered this new form of technology easily. _If only life was as easy to master,_ he thought sadly as he sped past the park where his Titanium Ninja statue stood.

* * *

Jay slept soundly in the copilot seat of his parents' jalopy as it rattled through Ninjago City. Edna heard him mumble something about it not being the right time once or twice, but apart from that, he didn't make a peep.

 _Poor Jay,_ Edna thought sadly, turning down the side-street leading toward the Ninja's dojo. _He loved Ed so much. He was devoted to him like only a faithful son could. I just wish he had heard before Ed died . . ._

* * *

The Ninja, Sensei, Edna, and Jay arrived at almost exactly the same time in front of the dojo. Edna gently picked her son, still fast asleep, up in her arms and carried him into the dojo, following the lead of his teammates and teacher.

Inside, Alex and Misako were waiting anxiously in the living room, and their worried expressions melted into ones of relief as the others came in, hanging up their jackets and hats before sitting down on the couches.

Sensei Wu introduced Alex to Cole, Zane, Kai, Lloyd, and Nya, who greeted Jay's friend with cordial nods. Alex could tell they somewhat resented him for making Jay so upset. The only one he didn't sense hostility in was Zane, whom Alex found somewhat odd, in an interesting way, since Zane was a Nindroid.

"Where's-" Alex stopped midsentence as his friend was carried into the room, and laid down on an empty couch. "Is he all right?" he asked Edna, slightly panicked.

"He's fine, dear, just sleeping," Edna assured him kindly.

Alex heaved a sigh of relief. The other Ninja's feelings of resentment toward him melted. They could see that Alex cared for his friend deeply, and they felt guilty for mentally blaming Alex for making Jay miserable.

Speaking of Jay . . .

Jay yawned loudly, and stretched himself out, uncurling out of the ball he had assumed form of for the past five minutes. "Did I miss anything?" he mumbled, sitting up and rubbing sleep out of his eyes. He stared groggily at Alex, then he blinked as his eyes began to focus. "Alex?"

Alex grinned. "It's good to see you again, Jay," he said.

Jay grinned back, the first real smile the Ninja had seen on his face since he got the news about his father. He got up and gave Alex a hug, his old friend returning it heartily. Then, they slapped right hands, then left hands, then fist-bumped with the back of their hands. Then they burst out laughing. "How in Ninjago do you still remember that?!" they exclaimed.

Nya studied the two young men carefully. They didn't look that much alike. Jay had messy ginger hair, Alex had black hair neatly tucked under a gray baseball cap. Jay's eyes were sea-blue, Alex had gray irises. Jay was lean and muscular, while Alex, even though they were the same height, was somewhat on the sturdy side. The main things they had in common were their playful smiles and their tall frames. It was hard imagining them being childhood friends. But then Nya mentally shrugged. Jay and Zane were best friends, and it was hard imagining _those_ two having that friendly of a relationship.

"Jay," Sensei Wu said gently, "I think we should go up to my quarters to look over those papers."

Jay's smile faded slightly, but he nodded. He glanced at his mom at almost the same time Wu glanced at Misako. The two women nodded their consent, and the four exited the living room. That left Alex and the Ninja in the room, gazing awkwardly at each other.

* * *

Nya attempted to make conversation. "So, Alex," she began hesitantly, "how long have you known Jay?"

"We've been friends as far back as I can remember," Alex replied. "I was his next door neighbor back in his old neighborhood, Wintergate. We used to do all sorts of stuff together, even though it was somewhat hard to do once school started."

"How come? Didn't you see each other at school?" Kai asked.

Alex shook his head. "I'm not sure Jay would want me to tell you," he said nervously.

"That's all right, Jay told me," Zane said. To his teammates, he said, "He didn't want to tell you himself because he was afraid you'd laugh at him or think he was strange or something like that. Jay didn't attend public school. He was homeschooled."

The others shrugged. "It's not that weird," Lloyd said. "Though coming from a guy who spent most of his childhood in boarding school, I shouldn't be talking."

"Nya and I were semi-homeschooled," Kai admitted. "Mom and Dad pulled us out after a bad bullying incident in fifth grade."

"I hated public school, but I had to do it because my dad wanted me to," Cole sighed. "A lot of things in my childhood were like that."

"I never attended school," Zane said. "I had the knowledge required of a twenty-one-year-old installed in me when I was built." When the others gave him confused looks, he said, "What? I couldn't help that!"

"Sooo. . ." Alex said hesitantly, "how did Jay meet up with you guys? I haven't talked with him in about . . . three years, I think."

The Ninja took it in turns to explain about how they met Jay when they became ninja. Alex whistled when they were finished talking about the destruction of the Preeminent. "Wow, I really need to get out more," he said with a weak chuckle.

 **~Several hours later~**

Zane walked past Jay's quarters, when he heard something like panicked squawking coming from inside. Loud clattering and thumping noises, like furniture was getting kicked and tossed all over the place, made Zane cover his super-sensitive ears with a wince. "What on earth is he doing in there?" he asked aloud.

Pixal, the android girl living inside his head, replied, " **Maybe you should find out. He must be quite upset, since he has not bothered to activate his room's soundproof muffling system.** "

Zane's respect for privacy was frantically screaming for him not to burst in on Jay, but his worry for his friend won out, and he rapped on the door several times. The clattering and thumping stopped abruptly, and Jay squeaked, "Who's that?!"

"It's me, Jay," Zane replied.

The door cautiously creaked open, and, once Jay had made sure it was Zane, unceremoniously yanked his Nindroid friend into his room. Zane's head almost slammed into the rim of the doorway, but he managed to duck just in time. As soon as Zane's body was completely in the room, Jay darted behind him and shut the door with a loud slam. "What in the world was all that about?" Zane demanded. He glanced around the room, and almost pulled a panicked Jay and squawked. "WHAT IN NINJAGO WERE YOU DOING IN HERE?!"

"Keep it down, Zane!" Jay clamped a hand over his mouth.

Zane shook his hand off. "But it looks like a tornado just went through here!" he hissed.

"Geez, I didn't remember you were such a neat freak," Jay muttered.

"Excuse me?" Zane demanded. "I heard you going maniacally hysterical in here, and you call me a neat freak?!" Then, he got a closer look at his friend. "Um . . . what are those on your face?"

"What's on my face?" Jay asked, frantically pulling something off his face and shoving it into his pants pocket. "There's nothing on my face. See?"

Zane sighed. "I suppose there isn't anything on your face," he replied.

"See? What'd I tell ya?" Jay turned and collided head on into a chair that had been standing in front of him for the past fifteen minutes.

"But I also suppose there's something that _should_ be on your face," Zane said. "Out with it, Jay. You know better than to hide it."

Jay sighed. "Nothing gets past you, does it?"

"Not much," Zane admitted with a shrug.

Jay heaved another sigh, then produced a pair of black-rimmed glasses out from his pants pocket. "I haven't had to wear glasses since I graduated from high school," he said, placing them back on his face and blinking rapidly. "But all this crying's messed up my eyes again. Luckily I had a pair that would fit me close by. I kept one in case I'd ever need it."

"What's wrong with your eyes?" Zane asked, frowning.

Pixal, who had quietly scanned Jay while they were talking, answered, " **Jay suffers from anisometropia.** "

"Anisometropia?" Zane looked confused. "Isn't that when one eye is far-sighted and the other eye is near-sighted?"

"Yep. In this case, my right eye is near-sighted, while my left eye is far-sighted," Jay explained.

Zane stared at him blankly. "I am unsure of how such a thing could occur," he said.

Jay sighed. "When I was a kid, I always closed my left eye in order to focus more clearly on minute details with my inventions and stuff. Well, turns out my right eye got used to seeing things close up, while my left eye got used to seeing things farther away. I got corrective lenses," he tapped his glasses, "but just a little too late. It was worst when I was in high school, but after I graduated and prepared to go to college, my eyes suffered less and less from the anisometropia. Even though I can't have perfect 20/20 vision, I was able to cope well without glasses and wearing contact lenses occasionally. But now my eyes are going wonko again, so I have to wear these."

He blinked again, then cocked his head to one side. "Why are you doing that?" Zane asked.

Jay made an embarrassed groaning noise. "Right now, my left eye is the one focusing while my right eye's doing zilch, so I have to tilt my head in order to regain focus."

After a few seconds, Jay tilted his head straight again. "Now can you explain to me why you were panicking even more violently than usual?" Zane asked.

Jay nodded. "We were going over the details of the funeral, when something came up that I have to do that I'm terrified of doing!" He slammed his head into his pillow. "This is the worst day ever," Zane heard him mumble into his pillow.

"It can't be that bad," Zane said hesitantly. "What is it?"

"Well, it's not as much terrifying as it is hard," Jay said, sitting on the edge of his bed. He made a weak little sighing noise, then said, "One of the things my dad wanted for his funeral was that after I did the main speaking part, not the eulogy, but the stuff toward the end of the service, he requested that I . . ." He trailed off.

"That you what?"

" . . . that I play the guitar and sing two of his favorite hymns to close the service," Jay mumbled, cheeks burning a bright red.

Zane gave him a skeptical look. "I've never heard you do either, except when we're at church," he said.

"I never told anyone about that," Jay said, walking over to his closet and pulling out a tan-colored guitar, with a band that was embroidered with the words, "God Is Greater." He strummed a chord experimentally. "I practice the guitar in my spare time, just working with songs I've heard on the K-RIST station, and stuff we sing at church. I used to get the sheet music from the worship leader, until he moved away."

"How good are you?" Zane asked curiously.

Jay shrugged. "I'm okay, I guess. I'm no Matt Maher, that's for sure."

"If you don't mind," Zane said, "I'd like to hear you play."

Jay's cheeks went slightly redder. But his mouth curved into a weak smile. "I'll try," he said. "I'm probably not gonna be in my best form, though."

"I won't mind," Zane said, settling himself in the chair Jay had bonked into in his anisometropic haze.

Jay played a couple more chords, while at the same time clearing his throat and humming a few bars. Then he started to play, and accompanying it with his voice. " _Dark days are gonna go away, they won't have the final say. These bones were always gonna fade, cause we were made for another place. . ._ "

Zane was astonished at how well Jay played and at how well he sang. His voice, which had moments ago been tired and weak, was now strong and clear, somewhere between a baritone and a tenor, and he sang as easily as he spoke. His guitar almost blended in with his song, both exactly in tune with the other.

"- _The moment of our final breath, when all our fears are put to rest,_ " Jay sang, closing his eyes as silent tears began streaming down his face. " _Every tear will disappear . . . heaven is real . . . We're gonna live on for-ever . . . forever . . . We're gonna live on for-ever . . . forever . . . We are not where we belong . . . We have a hope . . . We're gonna live on for-ever . . . forever. . ."_

Then Jay's voice cracked, and he started coughing loudly into his fist. Zane just stared at his friend in stunned awe. "Jay, that was . . . _amazing!_ Why have you hidden a musical talent like that for so long?!"

"I didn't think anyone would notice," Jay mumbled, but Zane's face broadened into a smile.

"If nobody notices someone who can play and sing that well, they would have to be deaf or not know an excellent musician when they hear one!" Zane's smile turned into a look of deep thought. "So if you play _that_ well, that's probably not the reason you're nervous . . ."

Then it hit Zane like a blow to the head. "Are you afraid you're going to break down in the middle of your performing because you miss your father so much?" he asked.

Jay nodded, taking his glasses off in order to dry his eyes. "The songs I had in mind were two of my favorites as well, but they remind me so much of Dad that whenever I tried practicing, I started to cry," he explained. "That's why I was throwing furniture around the room. I was taking my frustration out on my stuff. But as you can see, it didn't help me at all."

"Throwing a power tantrum never soothes frustration or anger," Zane said. "You should know that by now after living with Kai for so long."

Jay laughed. Zane was relieved to see his teammate laugh for real, the second time almost all day since the news about his dad. Then he asked, "Which two songs were you considering?"

"'The Revelation Song', and . . . oh, shoot, what was the name of that other one?" Jay frowned as he fixed his glasses back on his face. "I think it was 'I Can Only Imagine'."

"Yes, I know the two you refer to," Zane said. "Why do they remind you so much of your father?"

"I'm not sure," Jay said thoughtfully. "I think it's because Dad put God first in his heart, above all other priorities, more than I've seen in any man before or since. Whenever I caught a glimpse of Dad singing those songs at church, with his arms raised toward heaven, and his eyes closed in pure emotion, I just felt like he truly meant what he was singing, wholeheartedly, not like some recitation or anything like that. I'm not sure how to describe it. To him, it just seemed so . . . so real."

"Your father was a man after God's heart," Zane agreed. He gazed reflectively out the window for several moments. When he finally spoke, he asked, "Why are you doing this, Jay?"

"What?" Jay stared at him, bewildered.

"Why are you taking on this endeavor?" Zane repeated.

"To make my dad happy because it's what he wanted, I guess," Jay replied, shrugging as he moved his guitar off his lap.

Zane frowned. "I guessed as much. But are you doing it just out of duty? Or are you also doing it to please God and worship him as well?"

Jay's expression was first surprised, then slightly skeptical. "I guess I never thought about that," he conceded. "I never actually thought of a funeral as a time to worship God. I mean, to be honest, no one would feel like doing that because God took away the person the funeral is being held for."

"You have a valid point," Zane said, "but we should do everything in order to praise God and glorify Him, even when it's the last thing we feel like doing, shouldn't we? From my time knowing your father, and what you've just told me, he tried to do just that all his life. I'm not surprised that you feel upset when you think about those songs. Correct me if I'm wrong, but another reason you might feel pain when you think of the songs and of your father is that you wonder if you're living like him, putting God above all else, or that you're doing the things a Christian should out of a sense of duty rather than love for God."

Jay's jaw dropped, and he gaped at Zane. "How do you do that?" he demanded.

"I did not have to really do anything in order to figure that out, Jay," Zane replied. "I just have to know people. In this case, you and your father. I know how much you wanted to make him proud, to live like him and follow his example. A situation like this one should raise questions like that to someone like you. And I don't think that it's wrong that you might have considered doing this only out of wanting to make your father happy, that's a very good thing. But it's better if you do it, not out of a sense of duty, but out of a worshipful heart, a desire to praise God in these situations, ones in which any ordinary person would least expect someone to be worshipping. If you do it for that reason, it'll show clearly in how you perform, and it can give people hope for the future, and for those who are in doubt, that there _is_ a God, and that He loves you and cares for you deeply, and that you love Him and trust that He's going to make things right, even though your life may be hard right now."

Jay just stared off, silent, not sure how to respond to his friend's statement.

Zane got up from his seat. "I'll leave you to think about that," he said. "And if it helps you, I'd be ready and willing to accompany you in the performance if you need it."

"Thanks, Zane," Jay said quietly. "I'd appreciate that."

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed that! When I had my mom look that last section over when I was writing it, she said she hoped it would encourage a lot of people. I hope it does too. I do not own the song Jay sung a section of. It belongs to the band, the Afters, and I did that all from memory.**

 **Anisometropia is a real thing, and I also just found out my mom is slightly anisometropic, so that's kind of a cool coincidence. I was inspired to give Jay that problem when I read about a President, I think it was either James Buchanan or Millard Fillmore, who had that problem with his eyes. I'm kinda quirky in that way.**

 **Well, God be with you! NMOTF OUT!**

 **#God's Not Dead!**

 **#Lightning Forever!**


	6. Love

**Hi, guys! I'm really sorry I took so long with this chapter, but it was kind of a hard one to write. This is a really deep chapter, and deep, emotional chapters often are hard to write.**

 **This is probably one of the longest chapters, too. It took up five pages in Google Docs.**

 **I want to say another extra-special thank you to everyone who's favorited, commented, and are following this story. And for everyone who's wanting me to update my other stories, I'm working on it.**

 **Here are a couple of videos you probably should listen to that go with this story: unfortunately the links just disappeared, even with the spaces I put, so here's what to look for:**

 **the Revelation Song Phillips, Craig, and Dean**

 **Mercy Me's I Can Only Imagine**

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

6\. Love

Jay tightened the knot in his navy blue tie, and straightened his black jacket. It had been awhile since he'd worn a fancy suit, or any kind of suit, for that matter. But there he was, in the church bathroom half an hour before his father's funeral was supposed to start, dressed in a black business suit.

It had been a week since his father's death, and he had accepted Zane's offer of accompanying him on the piano for the final part of the service, when he was supposed to play the songs for his dad. Jay hadn't realized how good a singer and pianist Zane was. He also was just registering how much he didn't deserve a good friend like Zane, who was always kind, helpful, comforting, and sometimes, just there, his presence quietly soothing, even when he didn't say a word.

Jay stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. His sea-blue eyes were now framed by a pair of black-rimmed glasses. It was hard believing that those same eyes were once swollen and red from crying, they looked as normal as they always did. His messy ginger hair had been cut and he brushed it out the best he could, but it still looked tousled and windblown, if slightly shorter. Jay sighed. He still didn't look prepared or at all confident, judging by the look of terror clearly etched on his face.

"Jay?" Zane peeked into the bathroom. He was dressed almost identically to Jay, except he had a gray tie instead of navy blue. "We should be in the sanctuary soon," he told his friend.

Jay snapped out of his trance. "Oh, okay."

Zane gave his clearly anxious teammate a sympathetic look. "You're still nervous about the service?" he asked.

Jay nodded, not even noticing Zane's unintentional rhyme. Zane put a hand gently on Jay's shoulder. "You'll be fine, trust me," he said. "And I'll be there to help you, if something were to go wrong, which I highly doubt. You're amazing, Jay. You'll do your father proud."

Jay smiled weakly. "I hope so, Zane," he said quietly.

Zane smiled comfortingly back. "Are you ready to head out?"

Jay nodded again, then followed his Nindroid friend out toward the sanctuary.

* * *

It was decorated with mostly black, and the congregation was dressed with equal solemnity. Jay noticed Griffin Turner quietly talking with Shade in a corner of the sanctuary, and saw Chamille and Ash in deep conversation with Neuro and Karlof. He remembered how surprised the Ninja were when they bumped into their fellow Elemental Masters at a service over two years ago. They had been going to the same church for years, and they didn't even know it. Jay couldn't suppress a smile when he recalled the look on Karlof's face when Kai ran into him after Sunday service.

But then his smile faded when he noticed the seats where his parents normally sat, and his mom sat there alone, hands folded over her lap and quietly gazing at the pulpit, where Pastor Michael Miles was talking with Sensei Wu and Misako.

"Jay? You all right?" Jay started a little as Cole, Kai, Lloyd, and Nya walked up to him and Zane. Jay quickly tucked his glasses into his jacket pocket before the others saw his face. Zane gave him a questioning look, but Jay shook his head frantically for Zane not to comment.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I guess," he said in reply to Lloyd's inquiry. He forced a nervous grin. "Although, it _is_ a funeral, so I'm not sure if I should be fine."

Nya gently put her arm around his. "You'll be great, Jay," she told him softly.

Jay's smile seemed slightly more natural as they walked toward their seats.

* * *

The funeral went by without a hitch. But as the time got closer and closer for Jay to deliver the final speaking and singing parts, he got more and more nervous. He kept telling himself to breathe and relax, but he couldn't help praying silently that he'd get through this without breaking down.

Finally, it was time. Zane gave his teammate an encouraging smile as Jay walked up toward the podium, instinctively touching the pocket where he had hidden his glasses. As he gazed out over the congregation, Jay realized that his eyes weren't focusing. He knew it would come to this, but he did have a slim hope it wouldn't.

Nya noticed that as Jay took his place at the podium, he was blinking rather rapidly. She thought it was to fight back tears, but only a few seconds later, Jay produced a pair of black-rimmed glasses out from his jacket pocket. Startled, Nya glanced over at her friends. Cole, Kai, and Lloyd looked equally surprised, but Zane just gazed placidly at the podium as Jay cleared his throat. Nya suspected Jay had already told him about his needing glasses.

* * *

Jay took in a deep breath, and exhaled as he began to speak. "Thank you all for coming," he said, and he could feel his mouth curving into an involuntary nervous grin. "I'm sure my dad would be pleased, and maybe even a little embarrassed at how many people came to fuss about him."

Some of the congregation smiled and permitted a small chuckle. Jay relaxed slightly, and he continued. "I was thinking while Pastor Michael was talking about Dad's work in the ministry, how we came to this church almost six years ago, and three Sundays after we started coming, my dad, fresh out of seminary, was offered the job as pastor. At the time, I thought it was a weird, sort of unlikely, circumstance, but now I think it was God's hand at work in our lives, and it spread to both here at church, and outside it.

"We all know how my dad to the plunge into the ministry, with a willing and cheerful attitude, and glorifying God all the way. He did his job with wholeheartedly, and maybe even a little more, with all the Bible studies he set up, the mission trips, and starting up our new youth ministry. He was a man after God's heart, I like to think.

"And now all his work here is done, and he's face-to-face with the One he served. That's why we're here, and that's what we're remembering and celebrating today."

Jay felt his voice cracking, so he quickly swallowed before continuing. "Though, a funeral is probably the last place you'd expect us to be celebrating, and it's definitely okay if you don't feel like it. No one does, really, since we're grieving over the loss of a friend, leader, and family. I've been doing that a lot this past week. But we don't want it to get to the point where all we're doing is obsessing over his death. That's not what God wants, and that's definitely not what my dad would want. I know his passing left a huge hole in some of us. . ." He trailed off, seeing his mother's soft brown eyes filled with tears as she gazed up at him.

Jay felt tears welling up in his own eyes. He involuntarily smiled again as he released a weak laugh. "Oh, no. I promised myself I wouldn't cry." He sniffled, then he said, "I just want to say this." He gazed up toward the ceiling, remembering his dad's smiling face as he spoke. "I love you, Dad. Thank you for everything, and, um . . . I'll see you later." He felt his voice cracking again, but he managed to squeak, "That's all I want to say."

He couldn't stop the tears from spilling across his cheeks as he scooted quickly away from the podium. Sensei Wu took his place. "Now, before the casket is carried out to the cemetery for the internment, it was Ed's request that his son, Jay," he nodded to Jay, who had taken his coat off and was scrubbing at his eyes "-perform a couple of his favorite hymns. Jay will be accompanied by his friend, Zane Julien-" Zane appeared almost instantaneously next to Jay "-on the piano and backup vocals, while Jay plays the guitar and lead vocals."

Nya's eyes widened in surprise. So that was the secret her boyfriend and Zane had been keeping all week! Judging by the startled looks of her brother and teammates, they hadn't heard about this either. Their eyes were fixed on the stage as Jay and Zane took their positions, Zane at the piano, Jay with a blue electric guitar.

* * *

As Jay stared, terrified, first at the sheet music in front of him, then at the watching congregation, Zane gently tapped the side of the piano to get his attention. When he turned around, Zane gave him an encouraging smile and a thumb's-up. "Relax," he mouthed silently. "Let God guide your voice."

While the majority of his mind heaved a mental sigh of relief, the fearful part of Jay's brain was constantly repeating the signal he and his friend had developed, in case of emergency. If he felt his voice cracking in the middle of singing, Jay would tap his music stand with his foot, cueing Zane to sing louder to provide lead vocals.

"Okay," he murmured quietly. "God, please get me through this. I need Your help. I can't do this alone."

Then, after making sure his microphone was working, he addressed the congregation. "So the two songs I picked were two of Dad's favorites. You're all probably really familiar with them, since we've sang them here at church multiple times: the Revelation Song, and I Can Only Imagine. The lyrics will be projected on the-" he racked his brains trying to remember what the screen thing lyrics were projected on during services was called.

Zane tapped the piano again, and mouthed, "Wing it." Apparently he didn't remember what it was called either.

"-the giant screen thingy," Jay finished lamely. The congregation laughed, and Jay's startled look turned into a small smile. "Is there an official name for that thing yet?"

"There probably is, and we'll let you know when we find out!" Griffin Turner called from the audience, followed by another wave of laughter.

Jay was feeling less tense now. "You can either just read the lyrics and sing in your head, or you can sing out loud. As for me and Zane-" he gestured to his Nindroid friend, who waved from his spot on the piano bench "-we'll be singing out loud."

Another outbreak of giggling from the congregation. Jay smiled, then, glancing at his sheet music, gave Zane a nod. Zane readied his fingers for playing, then returned the nod. After adjusting a few levers and buttons with his foot, Jay began playing, closely followed by Zane.

The two friends played like they'd been music partners for years, the sound of the guitar bringing out just the right piano notes, and the piano's tune amplifying the guitar's voice.

Then, as the first verse of the Revelation Song appeared on the projection screen, Jay and Zane started to sing. " _Worthy is the, Lamb who was slain . . . Holy, Holy is He . . . Sing a new song, to him who sits on . . . heaven's mercy seat . . ._ "

Cole, Kai, Lloyd, and Nya were completely dumbstruck by their teammates' musical and vocal talent. Jay's higher voice and Zane's semi-metallic, slightly lower voice were as evenly balanced at their instruments. They both carried equal emotion to their performance, but they sounded less and less like they were playing for an audience, and more and more like they were simply, wholeheartedly, worshipping God.

Nya was the first member of the congregation to join Jay and Zane, standing up in her seat as they began the chorus. " _Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord God Almighty! Who was, and is, and is to come!_ " She was soon followed by her brother, then her two other teammates. " _With all creation I sing, praise to the King of Kings! You are my everything, and I will adore You!_ "

By this time, Sensei Wu, Misako, Edna, and their fellow Elemental Masters in the congregation were singing, no, praising, with Jay and Zane, who sang and played like they'd never done before.

" _Clothed in rainbows, of living color . . . Flashes of lightning, rolls of thunder . . ._ " As Jay and Zane continued to sing, more and more of the congregation were singing with them, standing with shining eyes and arms raised heavenward. Some were standing with their eyes closed and their lips mouthing the words in pure rapture.

As she sang, Jay noticed Jay's expression as he strummed his guitar and sang. His eyes were closed, and silent tears were coursing down his cheeks. He seemed swept away, either in memories of his father, or in glorifying God. Whichever one it might have been, it deeply touched Nya, and she knew for certain that the man she loved was a devoted and faithful Christian.

" _Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord God Almighty! Who was, and is, and is to come!_ " Jay and Zane sang the final chorus. " _With all creation I sing, praise to the King of Kings! You are my everything, and I will adore You!_ "

When the song ended, it was very hard for the congregation to hold their applause, knowing that a second song was to follow the first.

* * *

Jay knew that I Can Only Imagine would be the hardest one for him to play. It wasn't because the music would be challenging, he would only be singing this time. It was because he would end up breaking down in tears in the middle of the chorus, it reminded him so well, and so painfully, of his dad. He had never successfully finished practicing the song, and since he was the solo singer, Zane had to be prepared to take over the vocals from his friend at any moment.

When Jay had switched his guitar out for a microphone, he took a quick drink of water out of the bottle at his feet. He shot Zane a nervous glance. Zane mimed breathing, and gave Jay a second thumb's-up.

Jay exhaled deeply, pushing his glasses up on his face as he took a quick look at his lyrics sheet. Then, praying his voice would survive to the end of the chorus, he started singing. " _I can only imagine, what it will be like, when I walk, by Your side . . ._ "

Zane's playing was slightly softer, loud enough to be distinctly heard, but quiet enough to give Jay's voice the spotlight. " _I can only imagine_ ," Jay sang, squeezing his eyes shut as an image of his father, smiling kindly at him and standing next to a bright, glowing figure appeared in his head, " _what my eyes will see, when Your face is before me . . ._ "

The entire congregation had fallen silent, drinking in the words, and, in their own minds, picturing almost identical images to the one in Jay's head.

" _Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel?_ " Jay sang, feeling more tears running down his face, desperately trying to keep his voice steady. " _Will I dance for You, Jesus, or in awe of you be still? Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing 'hallelujah,' will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine . . . I can only imagine . . ._ "

Jay's voice gave way, and he tapped his foot against the music stand. He pulled the microphone away from his lips so the congregation couldn't hear his crying magnified.

Zane took over with some difficulty, recollections of his own father coming back to him in a flood of memories. " _I can only imagine, when that day comes,_ " Zane felt warm tears sliding down his metal cheeks, " _and I find myself, standing with the Son . . ._ "

Zane was able to carry the song to the end of the third chorus, until he found himself breaking down in tears. Jay, who had recovered somewhat sufficiently by this time, quickly took his microphone back up to finish the song. " _I can only imagine, when all I will do_ ," Jay sang, letting his open eyes blur with tears behind his glasses, " _is forever, forever worship You . . . I can only imagine . . . I can only imagine . . ._ "

 _I know you're there, Dad,_ Jay thought as the congregation applauded him and Zane loudly, some crying and blowing their noses through their cheering. He saw his mother's eyes spilling over with tears, and his teachers Wu and Misako were equally moved. Nya was crying into her brother's shoulder, and Kai, Cole, and Lloyd applauded their teammates with shining, tear-filled eyes. As he and Zane hugged each other tightly through their tears, Jay thought, _You're with Him now. And I hope it's better than you ever imagined._

* * *

 **This chapter is dedicated to you, Dad. Even though you drive me crazy, I still love you.**

 **#God's Not Dead!**


	7. A New Beginning

**Yay! The final chapter! It took me nearly two weeks to write, but I finally finished it!**

 **I really like the way it turned out, and I hope you guys like it too!**

 **But don't think this is how the series is going to end, no sir. I've got two more books and a coupl'a one-shots (or short stories, depending on how long I want to make one) already in the making! And has anyone figured out the theme I've got going with my titles? Here's a hint: the book titles are spin-offs (well, the first one isn't) of actual books written by a famous author: "A Grief Observed," "Surprised by Jay," "Chronicles of Walker." Cookies for anyone who can figure it out!**

 **And even though the first part of the chapter may seem irrelevant, pay attention to it. It'll come in handy for another upcoming trilogy series.**

 **Thanks, and I hope you enjoy the final chapter of "A Grief Observed"!**

* * *

 **7\. A New Beginning**

The day after Ed Walker's funeral found the Ninja in a day of silence. No one was talking. No one _felt_ like talking. They ate their breakfast without saying a word, then they split up to their separate ways around the dojo. Jay locked himself in his room, and no one tried to bother him when they heard his muffled sobbing.

Zane had decided to take a walk around the city, to try to clear his head, and to figure out the puzzling feelings that had newly awoken in him. Pixal had retreated to the back recesses of his mind, knowing that he needed full time to himself, without her presence in the front of his vision.

He pulled his jacket collar up around his neck. Even though he was a Nindroid, and he didn't mind the cold, for some reason, the late November wind swirling around him made Zane shiver, something he hadn't experienced since he was rebuilt . . .

Since he was rebuilt. That was the root cause of his peculiar feelings. When he woke up in Master Chen's dungeons, he had completely forgotten about his past, even though they hadn't been erased. It was Pixal's voice in the cell next to him that had unlocked his past, but there was one thing that he hadn't remembered until much later . . . and the sudden death of Jay's father had made it much bolder.

He hadn't remembered his own father, Dr. Julien, until Sensei Garmadon's death and banishment to the Cursed Realm, and Lloyd was grieving over his father's passing. Shortly after, Zane had asked Kai if he'd had a father, and when Kai had told him that he did, his memories of Dr. Julien came back, slowly, and somewhat faintly, and they had remained blurry up to recently, when he and Jay were playing for Ed's funeral. Then they became clearer than glass.

The feelings that came with them were overwhelming. Zane had found it very hard to fall asleep after the funeral. Even though he didn't need sleep, it still left Zane very tired the next morning, and very perplexed.

He sat down on a park bench, gazing up at the gloomy gray sky hovering over the city like a forbidding blanket. When Dr. Julien died, shortly after Zane became a teacher at Wu's Academy, Zane had been partially expecting it. He had still grieved over his loss, but it hurt differently. That might have been because he hadn't gotten much time to know his father after he had been rescued from his prison tower in the middle of the ocean. Dr. Julien had gone back to his workshop in the Birchwood Forest, and Zane found it harder and harder to visit him as his schedule became packed with the rigors of being a teacher.

Now that he remembered his father, he wished he had gotten the time to know him better. He wasn't sure how else to describe his feelings. He wanted to go back and relive the memories he had, and make more before it was too late. _But that was impossible,_ he reminded himself. _No one has ever successfully time-traveled without there being some sort of_ -then the sentimental part of his brain interrupted. _To the Dark Island with probability of time travel! All I want is to see my father again!_

Zane felt a tear rolling down his cheek. He held his face in his hands. He tried to blink back his tears, but he couldn't stop himself. Warm tears spilled over his cheeks as Zane began to sob. He didn't realize how much he missed his father until now. And how little time he was able to spend with him. _Life was so short . . ._ he thought. _Don't let it pass you by . . ._

* * *

Finally, Zane stopped crying, and he shakily stood to his feet, wiping his eyes on his jacket sleeve. As he turned to walk back out of the park, his phone, tucked away in his pocket, let out a soft beep and vibrated against his leg. Stifling a sniffle, Zane answered it. "Yes?"

" _Zane?_ " Zane's eyes widened in surprise.

"Pastor Michael! Is there something wrong?"

He could tell his pastor was stifling a smile as he replied, " _Just because a pastor calls doesn't mean there's something wrong, Zane. I was trying to get through to Jay, but his phone's turned off._ "

"Yes, he was trying to cut off all contact for a time," Zane explained. "What is it, Pastor?"

" _Do you think you could convince Jay to make some contact and come to my office at the church? I'd like to speak to the three of you personally about something._ "

"The three of us?" Zane frowned. "You only named two people, though if I were technically speaking, you only named one. Who's the third?"

He could hear Pastor Michael facepalming on the other end. " _Nya Smith is the third person. She's Kai Smith's younger sister and Jay's girlfriend, right? With such a big congregation, it's a little hard to keep track of who's who._ "

Zane clamped a hand over his mouth to smother a chuckle at his pastor's absent-mindedness. "Yes, that's her," he confirmed. "I'm on my way back to the dojo now, so I'll tell them. Should we come now?"

" _Let me check my schedule . . ._ " Pastor Michael hurriedly checked his calendar. " _As it happens, I don't have anything planned today, so yes, come over to the church as soon as you can._ "

"Affirmative. We'll see you shortly." With that, Zane hung up. As he went home at a jogging pace, he wondered aloud, "What could Pastor Michael want to talk with us about?"

* * *

Zane knocked on Jay's bedroom door. "Who is it?" Jay's voice sounded muffled.

"It's me, Jay," Zane said. "Are you ready to come out now?"

The Nindroid could hear his friend sigh deeply. "Yeah, I'm ready. As ready as I'll ever be." Seconds later, Jay opened his bedroom door, scrubbing at his blotched red eyes. His glasses were clasped in one hand, and his blue-white-and-gray plaid shirt looked wrinkled, as if he'd been lying on his stomach for several hours. Which wasn't all that unlikely.

He frowned in confusion at the worried look on Zane's face. "Is there something wrong?" he asked, wiping his glasses on his sleeve before putting them back on.

"I do not believe so," Zane said hesitantly, "but Pastor Michael called me about fifteen minutes ago, while I was out walking. He said he would like you, Nya, and me to see him at his office as soon as we could."

Now it was Jay's turn to look worried. "I hope he isn't gonna ask me to fill my dad's role as pastor," he said, fidgeting with his shirt collar.

"Jay, you haven't even gone to college, much less seminary," Zane assured him. "And if he were, wouldn't he speak to you about it privately?"

"Touche," Jay conceded. "Have you told Nya?"

"Yes, and she's waiting outside at her car for us. Shall we join her?"

"Hang on a sec." Jay darted back into his room. Zane could hear him rummaging around, as if looking for something. About a minute later, Jay reappeared in the hallway, smoothing out his shirt.

Zane raised an eyebrow. "What were you doing in there?" he asked.

"Just getting my, uh, eye medication," Jay said, trying to sound nonchalant.

Zane could tell he was lying, but he shrugged it off. "If you say so. Let's go."

* * *

In fifteen minutes, Nya's sky-blue Sienna pulled up in the Ninjago City Baptist parking lot. The three young people climbed out of the car and approached the glass doors of the building. "Pastor Michael just texted me that he unlocked the doors about five minutes ago," Zane reported, head bent down over his phone.

"You keep that up and you're gonna smack right into that support pole over there," Jay joked. He'd regained some of his old sense of humor, but he kept glancing over at Nya with a nervous expression on his face.

Zane didn't have time to ponder over Jay's peculiar behavior, because, as predicted, he slammed right into the glass doors of the church. "Okay, so my collision course was a little off," Jay said, stifling a smile as Zane glared at the church doors. Nya hid a giggle behind one hand.

Zane rolled his eyes. "It goes to show that I'm as human as the rest of you," he retorted, pushing the doors open to let them in.

"Uh, you're not human," Jay pointed out. "You're one-hundred-percent Nindroid. Upgraded Nindroid, but Nindroid no less."

Zane facepalmed. "Walked right into that one," he muttered.

"Cut it out, you two," Nya said, but she was still trying hard not to laugh. "Your witty repartee can wait until later, can't it?"

The two boys didn't respond, they just glared at each other. Nya put her hands on her hips. "I'm not going in until you two stop that," she said.

Jay and Zane held their glares for another minute. Then, Jay's glower turned more into a grin, and he started giggling hysterically. Zane also stopped glaring, and he covered his mouth in a vain effort to muffle his laughing. Nya rolled her eyes. "Boys," she muttered.

Once Jay and Zane stopped laughing, they entered the church building, Jay releasing a hiccuping giggle every so often.

* * *

Jay knocked on the door of Pastor Michael's office. "Pastor Michael?" he called nervously.

"Come in," the pastor answered.

The three entered his office. It was pleasantly untidy, with papers scattered over a desk in front of a window with a view of the empty church playground, a quartet of armchairs arranged in a corner around a circular mahogany-colored coffee table, and three tall bookshelves lined the walls. A warmly-colored rug was spread across almost the entire carpeted floor.

At his desk, Pastor Michael closed his computer and pushed his chair back as he stood. He was in his mid-thirties, young for a pastor, with neatly brushed brown hair, black-rimmed rectangular glasses, and a tall, somewhat lanky frame dressed in a green-and-white-checked collared shirt, dark blue jeans, and gray running shoes.

He smiled at the three. "I'm glad you could make it," he said. "Please, sit down." He gestured to the armchairs nestled together in the corner as he walked toward them.

Jay, Nya, and Zane joined their pastor around the coffee table. Jay got right to the point. "Why did you want to see us, Pastor Michael?"

Michael rested his hands on his knees, and took a few seconds before replying. "I wanted to see you because of the funeral last week," he said.

Jay's heart sunk just a little. "What about it?" he asked, not sure whether he wanted to know.

Michael looked slightly serious. "The last worship segment of the service, the one that you and Zane led," he said.

Jay's heart sank even further. Zane was confused, and Nya was worried. "Was it that bad?" he mumbled.

Michael shook his head fervently. "No, no, that's not it at all, Jay!" he assured him. "In fact, it was anything _but_ bad!"

Jay looked surprised. "You're not kidding?"

"Why would I kid about something that touched our congregation so deeply?" Michael exclaimed. "Jay, you and Zane were phenomenal! You conveyed something so . . . so devoted, so sincere, in your worship, I was stunned!"

Jay was speechless. Zane was barely able to stammer, "T-t-thank you, Pastor!"

Nya squeezed her boyfriend's arm to snap him out of his stupor. Jay squeaked, "Thanks?"

Michael smiled at the two startled boys. "The Sunday after the service, the elders and I had a meeting," he began. "Since Chris moved away, we haven't been able to get a permanent worship leader, or a band. In fact, before he left, Chris told me and your father about how you came to him after services asking for any music sheets you could borrow so you could learn how to play the songs yourself," he said to Jay. "He recommended you as our next possible choice for worship leader. I was a little skeptical about it, and your father agreed to wait, even though he wanted to vote you in on the spot.

"Then, I heard you playing at Ed's funeral, the two songs he loved the most. And I knew the choice was made. The elders all agreed, and now, I would like to ask you."

Michael paused. Then he asked, "Jay, would you like to fill in the position of Ninjago City Baptist's worship leader?"

* * *

Jay almost fainted, but Nya quickly pinched him before he passed out. Jay blinked, then rubbed his glasses on his sleeve, even though he thought it was his ears that were having problems, not his eyes. That showed just how flustered he was. "You're-you're serious? You want _me_ to be the worship leader?"

"I can't think of anyone else who'd fit the position better than you, Jay," Michael said.

"I-I-I would be honored, Pastor!" Jay finally managed to stutter. "Could I choose who'd be in the band?"

"Of course," Michael said, smiling. "Why else do you think Zane and Nya are here with you?"

Jay looked at his two friends. "Would you. . ." he began hesitantly.

Zane smiled. "Of course I would," he said.

Nya was slightly puzzled. "Why would you ask me?" she asked. "I'm not the best singer in the congregation."

"But you _are_ a beautiful singer!" Jay exclaimed, taking Nya's hands and softly massaging them. "I wouldn't want anyone else but you."

* * *

Then, he did something Nya didn't expect. Jay got down on one knee, still clasping Nya's hands in his own. "I love you, Nya," he said. "I wouldn't want anyone else at my side but you. You're the most wonderful girl I've ever met, and I've never met anyone like you before or since."

He reached into his back pocket and took out a small black velvet box. He placed it in Nya's hands. She flipped back the lid, and gasped. Inside was a beautiful silver ring, engraved with her name, and inlaid with a deep-blue sapphire and a rose-red ruby, held together by a delicate intertwining of silver.

"Nya," Jay asked, gazing up at her with his sea-blue eyes. "Will you marry me?"

Nya's amber irises were filled with tears. She smiled at Jay, and, setting down the box, wrapped her arms around his neck. "Yes!" she cried, joyful tears spilling down her cheeks. "More than anything, I want to marry _you!_ "

Jay felt tears spring to his own eyes, but they weren't sad tears this time. They were filled with love, joy, and hope for the days ahead. He wrapped his arms around Nya, and held her tight, completely unaware of his pastor and his friend watching them with smiling faces.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, they let go. Jay slipped the ring onto Nya's finger, and smiled at her, the first real smile he'd felt on his face in days. Nya smiled back at him, and then she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. Jay blushed bright pink, and he saw Zane suppress a smile behind one silver hand.

The newly-engaged couple turned to Pastor Michael. "You'll officiate the wedding, won't you?" Jay and Nya said in the same breath.

Pastor Michael couldn't stop smiling. "Of course I will," he said. This was a day he probably wasn't going to forget, and no one else in that room was going to forget it either.

The rest of the meeting went by in a haze for Jay and Nya, they were just too happy. They were planning to spend the rest of their lives with each other, and it was the best thing they could ever imagine.

 **The End.**

* * *

 **A special thank-you to these supporters, who so faithfully followed, commented, and liked my first completed book! (Officially, my first completed story was _I'll Be Home For Christmas_ , but this is my first completed longer story.)**

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 **Thank you guys so much for your support! See you at the next book!**

 **-TitaniumMasterOfAquaLightning**

 **#God's Not Dead!**


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